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Aug 24 10

Throw Me A Bone, Here, People

by PJ

Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard was a cornucopia compared to the cupboards around here. The fridge hosts a variety of condiments and the occasional banana, thrown out once the peel becomes so greasy even the Grinch would chuck it.

These people are having a baby. A human one. There is no food in the house and they are having a baby. Hmph.

Dad returned home today with an acceptable amount of groceries. Good thing they’re not having that baby for a couple of months. They’ve still got some practice time.

Aug 24 10

Full Moon Crazies

by PJ

Yeah, I got ‘em. Full Moon Crazies in force.

Hanging out in the moonbeams in the backyard, admiring my shadow. Even Louie is fun to be around during a full moon.

And what’s this? My human companions come to join us! They like the lights in the sky, the full Moon and Jupiter, so bright and sparkly I just want to jump up on it and flip my tail at the Earth. Moon crazies!

My human companions played the old stick-chasing game with me, and my full Moon energy made me happy to oblige. This is a Pisces full moon, so it will create some harmony with my Cancer Sun.

Full Moon Crazy Cancer Crab Walk!

Crab Crab Crab across the ground, grab the stick, sit. Walk around Dad, grab the stick, sit. Flip tail.

I love this game.

Mraow.

Aug 23 10

All Work and No Play Makes PJ A Dull Boy

by PJ

My human companions work too much. That’s probably why they haven’t given me that video of Louie to post. I shall continue to flip my tail derisively at them in silent protest.

All I ask for is a nice, flaky can of tuna and a snuggle once in a while. But they’re never home. I wait outside all day for them, and then they finally come rolling up in their dragon beast conveyances. How I hate those machines that eat my humans and take them away, only to bring them back and regurgitate them later. Where do they go? The only thing worse is being shoved into one of the beasts to be taken somewhere, usually a nasty death-smelling place where they poke and prod me. Gives me shivers just thinking about it.

But I still want that snuggle.

Mraow

Aug 17 10

No Genius

by PJ

I can’t begin to describe the depths of Louie’s dysfunction.

Poor feline. Here’s how this dumb cat spends his time….

He watches a tarantula. In a cage. For hours.

That’s a spider, people. It doesn’t move much. Louie watches him. Not moving.

Don’t you understand how useless this is?

I have commissioned the humans with whom I share my abode to film Louie in his ignominy. I shall post it soon.

Oh, here he comes to pet me with his head. He can be sweet.

Mrraow.

Jul 26 10

Someone to Pick the Burrs from My Butt

by triloci

[Heavy sigh]

I was a bit harsh with my human dad in the last post. I should not have damned him so fiercely.

He snuggled me and picked the burrs off my butt.

Of course, if he would clean out the weeds behind the house, I wouldn’t get any burrs on my butt in the first place.

Nevertheless….prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Mraow!

Jul 26 10

How I Wish I Coudn’t Understand English

by triloci

PJ Speaks!

Well, the interlopers have finally departed. I am no longer a stranger in my own home. BUT! – I still have to contend with my human dad and his so-called work.

“If you don’t let me work,” he says, “How can I continue to supply you with the high-quality food and occasional can of tuna that you’re used to?”

How I wish I couldn’t understand him, the bastard.

Especially since I know there’s no tuna in the house.

Damn you, dad. Damn you.

Still, I fancy a snuggle.

Mraow!

Jul 26 10

The Nightmare Continues

by triloci

There is no rest for the weary as the nightmare continues unabated. It is as though I am a character in the movie Inception, dreaming of an endless interment in the abyss my house has become.

At least the toddlers finally went to bed. But I still have not gotten a proper snuggle from anyone.

[Sigh.] I guess I’ll go dominate Button.

There better be some damn tuna in my near future.

PJ

Jul 25 10

Successful Patrol

by triloci

By PJ

Sitting on the old couch out back with Louie. My human dad came tromping out and sat with me, which was fine, but then he started clearing away some dead plants, which startled Louie – he’s so skittish, poor thing – and annoyed me, so I had to interrupt my rest.

It worked out all right, though, we patrolled the back yard together. Dad even went the other way around the van and met me on the other side. He tried to pull the burrs off me, which was irritating, but at least he knows how to patrol properly.

Oh, and I had a decent roll in the dirt. I was pleasantly filthy. Dad petted me and a very satisfying puff of dust flew off into the air. Nice.

Mraow!

Jul 25 10

Milk, Unenjoyed

by triloci

The house is once again full of smelly “guests”. The one who calls herself mom gave me milk. I pretended it was not good but I actually enjoyed it.

Jul 24 10

You Call This Dinner?

by triloci

Not even Bill the Cat would touch it.

"One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; one of life's least appreciated pleasures is defecation." - Mark Twain